The funny side of dating 



Now that I have my Prince Charming I’m allowed to laugh at all the frogs I dated. My aunt was always so nice about it, “you have to kiss a couple of frogs before you find the one.” And she was right; some frogs I did kiss and while I sometimes throw up a little in my mouth when I think about those frogs, I can NEVER TAKE IT BACK!!! 

One upon a time I was the poster girl for this: 

Words cannot describe how good it feels to not be there any more, but I have some advice for those girls who are still looking for the one. 

1. If you have to be drunk to even think about kissing the person, walk away. 

2. If you’re out of the persons league.. WALK AWAY! They’ll know they’re ugly and be all insecure about it. It’s never a fun situation to describe how nice your partners handwriting is.

3. If they’re over 30 and going no where they are going no where slowly! You don’t need an anchor. Be done with it. 

4. If it cannot string a sentence together.. Move along swiftly. 

5. If it finds ways to put you down because it can’t cope with how awesome you are.. Bye bye!

6. If it doesn’t get along with your friends, dump it! You don’t need that kind of crap in your life. 

Relationships are not easy and you need to find someone who compliments you in every way. 

When you reach a certain age, this is a reality:

7. Don’t fall into the dick-sand! You’ll have to watch “how to be single” to figure out that pop culture reference. 

8. Don’t ever settle. Look, we know no one is perfect but there is a perfect person out there for you. Admit your failings, but don’t dwell on them. And don’t tell yourself you deserve less than you do!

I hope that helps 😳 I’m going to run along and be happy now, because I’m actually in a good space and my boyfriend is the bees knees!!! And if anyone doesn’t like that then that’s their problem and when I say I don’t care I actually mean it 😂


A busy mind..


I’m sure loads of people have those days where about a million different memories with a lot of different people seem to flood their mind. A lot of the time I want to tell a fair amount of those people to GTFO of my head space where they don’t belong; but it’s my fault that they are there; no theirs. 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t miss a single one of them; most of the time I’m rehearsing some speech telling them with a few choice words how much I don’t like them. 

Oprah.. Slow clap for, Oprah. It’s true, life is about moving on. I envy those people who make a choice to not let something bother them anymore and then POOF.. It’s out of their minds. 

I guess that’s the point, right? No one is you and you are youer than you. I’m bringing some Dr. Seuss into the mix now. It’s your greatest power and it’s your greatest weakness. You really have to cherish moments, because in essence, that is all you are left with on days like today where there is a question mark over everything. A question mark over your past and I really massive question mark over your future.  

As you were. 

Adulting.. From the perspective of a semi-adult. 


At this point in my life there are a lot of things that stress me out. I try to not let things I cannot control contribute towards my stress levels, but I’m human. Life is full of these steps you take to become more independent and an adultier adult, but no one tells you how scary and overwhelming it can be at times (by that I mean ALL THE TIME). 

On top of ever increasing monthly bills you also have to take into the daily drama you can never get away from; the daily responsibilities, the challenges, etc. you have to be healthy and exercise, shop for food, cook, look after your demanding let’s who you adore, do the laundry, book your car in for its services, make sure you pay everyone who wants your money: and it’s at that point that I take my hat off to single, working mothers/fathers with no support system around them and a shitload of debt. 

You know who I envy? I envy those people who can stop by their parents house weekly or people who have their immediate family near to them. I hope you people realize how lucky you are.

Do I have time for drama? NO! Is adulting easy? NO! But it’s possible. I might not be at level expert of adulting, but I’m doing ok. I would rather be disruptive with my life than passive. So if anyone comes into your life who drags you two steps back that’s two steps too many. Being an adult is not easy and you have to really trust the choices you make on a day to day basis; the short-term as well as the long-term ones. 


That’s all. I’ll be partying up a  storm later to relieve some of the stress, because fun is important. Also, naps are fun! 

Ignorance is no longer a viable excuse 


Part of me wants to be really mad at ignorant people, but I’m not anymore; I pity them. I pity them for their lack of understanding, compassion and their inability to not judge people who are suffering something they could never comprehend. To you people I say, have a nice life and you’re not welcome in mine any longer. I will not suffer fools and no one else should either.

I’ve heard many a stupid comment of late on the point of mental illnesses and I’m at the point where there is just no reason in causing myself the pain of trying to explain something that is very real. You go ahead and be stupid elsewhere.. Like a volcano pit or traffic. 

I see the misconceptions on a daily basis and I see people fighting internal battles on a daily basis. No one is asking for sympathy or hand outs, but I don’t think it is too much to expect a level of understanding, respect and consideration. 

I’m thankful that I was raised to be compassionate towards others no matter what their position, title or struggle in life. I was brought up in a home where my parents took us with to lions events where they help people of all challenges in life. Growing up I have seen mentally disabled, physically disabled, underprivileged, the old neglected and at the same time I saw the gratitude on their faces when they were shown respect and treated with the kindness they deserve.

I accept that not everyone has been that fortunate and that’s why I pity those who just don’t get it. They are the ones who belong in therapy figuring out why they’re such an asshole and why they think they’re better than others. I also accept that some people are completely blinded by their own self-importance to notice anything beyond their nose. Perfect? Unless someone is a narcissist know where certain labels are applicable and where they are just plain dumb. 

I suppose when it comes down to it there is only one thing to say about it all; If you want to have an opinion at least make it an educated one. 


What does revenge really feel like? 


After watching a lot of Spartacus I’ve seen where revenge originates from. It comes from hurt pride. That’s pretty much it. You’re this power hungry, desperate to have everyone love and adore you kind of person and you lose who you really are in all of that.  You can say all you want; a bruised ego will do that to people. I know a lot of people are terrified of karma and everyone wants to be the better person and all of that. No one wants to look like a fool. 

I don’t always go for that bigger person thing, but that’s because in some situations I could stoop very low and still never reach the level of the other person (that’s my opinion and you don’t have to like it or agree). 

I saw this and it made me smile:

I do get it though; people will always go for your pride every time. It’s like a sweet spot and they want to take the knife from your back and dig it into your stomach. It does hurt.. Hurt pride does hurt; but it’s superficial hurt. It’s also very easy to move on from 🙂 

But this is better 🙂 once the rage wears off this does seem like a more peaceful and better way forward.. But only once the rage has worn off. 

Self-worth is infinitely better than pride. And if you don’t want to be the bigger person? Well, always remember that you have to live with the consequences of your choices.
Ps. Bitches be trippin’ 

There are infinite sides to a story.. 



Everyone expects you to “pick a side” or “agree to disagree” or listen to a friends rampant lectures because they believe that they are the rulers of the universe 🙄 well, f*** you and the horse you road in on your self-indulgent as*****. It is never ok to just assume and most importantly, assume that everyone must behave and act in a way you feel is acceptable. 


What I really want to say is: fuck you and your version of the truth and your version of what is right and wrong. If you had an inkling of self-awareness, self-worth and self-respect you would understand that. 

I haven’t lived my life by the book. What book? Take your book and shove  it. I think the very long-winded point I am trying to make is that someone can cross a line and disrespect you and there is a way back.. You drawing a line in the sand. The point of no return. The false accusations; the idea that of they don’t follow your life rules then they won’t make it.
We don’t have time for those unilateral, one dimension thinkers. Their people whose heads are so far up their own assholes that the sun got lost in the mail. Those spinel standard, sub-standard human beings who are pathetic; sad; lost.

You get lost; the rest of the world will continue to turn without.. I know that’s a big shock to your stupidity .. 

Cleansing .. Out with the s*** and in with the awesome! 


I had this insane epiphany recently and I’m fairly certain it came from a place where I was sick and tired of giving to certain people and they just did not deserve the effort anymore. 

Last year was the craziest, most f***** up year of my life and the people who enabled that behavior the most are no longer in my life. Deep breath! It feels awesome. At a time when they should have been telling me no they were by my side f****** around and when I actually needed them they were critical, selfish, insincere assholes. 

 Aside from the actual crazy side of me who (yes, I’ve personified it) will always be around, I can say with certainty that while I’m trying day by day to be better I hope to surround myself with really amazing people who focus on building others up and not breaking them down. 


Soooooo… I plan on being my amazing self and I know I have amazing people in my life already. Just give me a little more time to sort the more serious things out and then I can open my heart again to friends..