Day 3… A drop in the ocean!

Standard

8251d7f40b8b54b0b9e48e62796443e6

I woke up this morning feeling tired and guarded. This whole opening up and questioning the universe thing is really draining. I made a joke! However, my first night in Cape Town was exactly what I have been needing! As I walked into our flat I thought to myself: Home! It felt good to feel home and comfortable. I have missed that feeling. I want a home like that; one that I build with someone that is filled with love, amazing memories and when you walk through the door it won’t matter what day you’ve had, because you’re home. I even found my bum mug and had tea in it! I love my bum mug… I carted it all the way back from Greece MANY years ago 🙂
I had an internal debate about whether to brave the cold and walk along the beachfront or not and then my mom convinced me. I even sat on one of the benches for a little while and just stared. My mind was pretty occupied with a few things, but I was acutely aware of how insignificant all of that can seem when you realize that it’s all just a drop in the ocean. I guess that’s what the feeling of contentment is. While fleeting, it was the first time in a long time that my mind felt at ease. Although, in that moment I was missing someone.

My sabbatical from Twitter and Facebook is going… Well, I still check up on things! I see pictures of my friend’s with their significant others and babies and I know I want that. I used to resent the engagements and “parents to be” announcements, but I’m done fighting it. I want it all. I have only responded to one person, but I guess that’s the thing about realising what and who is important to you. Blocking out all the other noise has been most helpful and I am trying to take control, which I guess is a good thing. It’s a lot easier to take control than we realise. The hard part is trusting yourself after you have let things get as bad as they have. I am reminded of a quote: “No one said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.”

xxxx

Advertisements

2 responses »

  1. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets
    So love the people who treat you right,
    forget about the people who who don’t.
    Believe that everything happens for a reason.

    If you get a chance, take it…
    If it changes your life, then let it…
    Nobody said it would ever be easy… They just promised it would all be worth it!

  2. In the past I used to sit on the beach at Eden on the Bay with a cup of Vida coffee and just relax with all the sounds and nature. Such a good way to relax and see/realise what is important.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s