For a while there I lost the ability to speak up; but it feels good to have my voice back. I have had people suffocating me for a really long time and that’s only happened, because I’ve allowed it to. I should be asleep right now, because I’m trying this thing where I don’t work through the night and I can actually manage to get through the week without feeling like death. Sigh. Here I claim to be a force to be reckoned with, but then I sit sulking in the corner instead of standing up for myself. I am tired of defending myself for things I haven’t done and I am done being ashamed of the things I have done!
I spoke to my brother and his words were magnificent: “Fuck everyone. Worry about yourself.”
So, that’s it. I finally have the freedom to decide who I want to have in my life and who I don’t. While my decisions making skills haven’t been perfect lately I still have a heart of gold and I am done with all of the back stabbing and rumours. If you have something to say about me speak up. I’ve never claimed to be perfect and later on is a new day for me to wake up and enjoy my life. I’m done feeling down and sad. Maybe I forgive so easily and so willingly because I feel as though I have so much I need to be forgiven for. So fine, I’ll forgive myself. That feels really good 🙂