I don’t have writers block.. I have: Let me not say anything in case someone decides it’s all about them and wants to have a go at me, because somehow what I have said has offended them. If the shoe fits.. ahem.
It’s not that I don’t care or that I want to offend anyone; it’s just that this is who I am. I write about my experiences and my life. So before you decide that I’m some uppity bitch with an opinion about everything (not that you would be wrong) maybe get over yourself and if you would like to contest anything… BRING IT! Let me give you some idea about where this is coming from:
I am sitting in a room that I painted, because before I moved in, the scuffed white colour on the walls made me want to slit my wrists. I am not even exaggerating. I walked in here and I wanted to put me out of my misery. My life is a massive pile of shit at the moment and that’s ok. But it was this or living a life that made me hate myself even more with people as fake as the green painted side-walks in Namibia. People who had somehow convinced themselves that they were good people…
Now, when I look at the walls, I see me. I see me not taking the time to put masking tape everywhere and doing a really shitty job at painting the room; but I see me. My bed; my curtains; my life in chaos around me. The only thing I do not see is my little puppino who I loved before I had him. A love I cannot describe. I saw a photo of him and my heart had tied itself to a little puppy who is my everything. If his constant licking bothers you then you can fuck right off, because that is the love of my life. My little Thor monkey who drives me crazy, but at the same time makes me feel as though my life is infinitely better with just a snuggle.
When your life is in pieces, just know that you’ll fix you. Don’t EVER give your heart away. EVER. In my experience it is not worth it.