While my other half is away I have been demoted to being the third wheel and in all honesty it is not me who I feel sorry for. I know that people do not ALWAYS invite the single person out of pity, but it can become a bad habit and no one should have to feel guilty for being in a relationship. A third wheel can really get in the way of a couple actually spending quality time together. Although, I know my couple friends want to include me I also know that there are times when you say no and you insist that it’s a no, because they also need to be alone with each other even if they are just going to the cinema. I know it is not right for couples to cuddle up when there is a third person around in order to make them feel more comfortable and that’s why third wheelers should only join if there are going to be other people as well.
The one thing I cannot understand is when people say that they are happy for their friends when they are in relationships yet further than that they expect things to stay the same…? Just because you see your friend less does not mean that your friendship is over or that they are choosing their partner over you. Maybe it means that they are very happy and have found a really great partner. There are, of course, certain instances where people may choose spending time with their partner over spending time with their friends, but it is a little irrational to expect someone to live a 40 hour day and spend time with everyone when there are only 24 hours in a day and roughly 7 of those hours are spent sleeping.
Before any third wheelers start to protest I think you should know that these are not rules and regulations for anyone to follow, because every situation is unique and should be assessed accordingly. I just think third wheels tend to feel sorry for themselves (it is human nature when you are on your own and your friends are all snuggled up) and they don’t realise how much they are possibly interfering with a relationship just by being there all the time. Of course you want your friends to consider you, but you also need to consider your friends. As the couple you may not notice the tension it causes to have an extra person around all the time. For third wheelers, here are some great pointers on How To Avoid Being A Third Wheel. Besides, you’re technically only a third wheel when you’re a pity invite.