You may find that there are more people out there who are guilty of self-sabotaging themselves than there are people who go out of their way to sabotage others. This is something that occurs all over the world and all it is really is you getting in your own way. It sounds like such a simple thing that you would think it is easy to overcome, but self-sabotage is one of those things that you do not realise you are doing until you actually realize! The other thing is that we tend to sabotage ourselves in different aspects of our lives so my self-sabotage will be completely different to someone else’s. Why do we self-sabotage? I am not psychologist, but I think it is to do with fear of failure and our pride. Basically, if you don’t ever really try then when things don’t work out you cannot really fail at something you didn’t throw yourself in to.
You may also self-sabotage when you force yourself to believe that you do not deserve any better. Some people drink, some people over-eat, some people procrastinate and even modesty can be a form of self-sabotage. The main thing you need to remember is that self-sabotage is not a single act, but rather it is a process. That also does not mean that we are now all “self-sabotagers” because everyone makes mistakes. The real difference between people who make mistakes and move on from them is that people who self-sabotage will try to fix those mistakes by topping them off with bad decisions.
I am going to give you my example of self-sabotage:
Basically, I am CONSTANTLY struggling with my weight, but eating chocolates and treats will not help with that. Then when I go on to healthy eating ‘paths’ after a few good weeks I believe I owe myself a reward and another reward and another reward until I am right back to where I started; depressed with myself and the way that I look and feel about myself. I will even go so far as to blame my boyfriend for “forcing me” to be healthier and “putting pressure on me” when I initially asked for his help and all he has done is cooked healthy meals for me. It sounds like the stupidest thing ever, but it is a vicious cycle. My conclusion? I now know that I am my own worst enemy and until I get over myself I will never reach my goal weight. I am so terrified of failing that I end up screwing myself over. Now that I know what self-sabotage is I can see it in people around me and I hope that they can find a way to move on from such self-destructive behaviour. You deserve to be happy; we all do!