The thing about Apathy…


Here is the problem: You cannot make someone care! When someone has spent hours convincing themselves of something there is no way that any rational explanation will help them to care. They become self-absorbed, self-indulgent and pretty much selfish. Everything is about them and their problem(s) and all your efforts will be wasted on people who indulge in apathetic behaviour. The other thing is that although you may not see what the big deal that is all they can see. As frustrating as it can be you have to be sensitive towards those people.

I remember being told by a very wise lecturer that we can control our emotions and all of us who use the excuse “My emotions got the better of me” the truth is that you have absolute control over your emotions. The only thing is that you may not want to accept that because you do not want to be held accountable for your ’emotional outbursts’ or ‘erratic behaviour’ which was caused by your out of control emotions. It is always easier to blame your emotions than it is to take responsibility for your behaviour. Whether you care or not, you are always responsible for the way you feel and the things that you do.

It is much easier to succumb to your emotions than it is to control them and whether you are a weak person or not you still have free will and that is the part that we all conveniently forget about when we allow our emotions to get the better of us. Apathy is the result of giving up and convincing yourself daily that you do not care. If you are in a relationship with an apathetic person you have to be so careful that you do not get sucked in to world, because it can happen so easily. People become numb to the world and you know what they say ‘misery loves company.’ Another thing is that slowly but surely you will begin to push people away, because people can only take so much self-pity before they get over it.



2 responses »

  1. I was a little confused reading your first paragraph because you seem to be equating apathy with being self-absorbed when the two are very different things. Apathy is at the very bottom of the emotional scale, below both grief and anger and an apathetic person cannot even feel enough to be self-absorbed. All of us sink into apathy temporarily after a great loss, such as when someone close dies, but after a few days we get back to normal. Some people are always in apathy though even when nothing bad has happened. Also people cannot simply will themselves not to get into these emotional states, other than simply trying to mask them or avoid the triggers. There are ways however that they can get to the root of the problem deep in their past and clear those things up so that they no longer drop into these chronic low-level emotional states. Better to diffuse the bomb itself then to go through life trying not to let anything trigger it or to try to contain the explosion if it is triggered. Anyway if this story is about someone in your life and he is chronically in a state of apathy all I can say is either get him help or get out before he drags you down with him. Same advice if he is a very self-absorbed person.

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