Pointing the blame finger.


Let us be reasonable about this; no one wants to be blamed when things go awry so we all cling to our argument(s) and no power on this earth will have us doubting that we are wrong. We will argue our point until the bitter end and if people do not accept our truth we resent them for it. I call it our truth, because often we believe the nonsense we say even if it is ludicrous. We can either call it human nature or we could blame it on society always trying to find someone to blame while shifting the blame from one individual to the next until someone is eventually found guilty. How many people do you find who will stand up and say ‘It was me; I am sorry.’ I am not talking about those people who have been forced to stand up, acknowledge their wrong doings and apologize because of all the damning evidence against them; I mean those people who have the balls to stand up and say ‘it was my mistake.’ We often need to blame someone for how things turn out when they go badly because the responsibility has to put on someone.

That is all fair and well, but what happens when more than one person is to blame for whatever it was that went wrong? What if a few departments in a company are all partly responsible for something that went wrong? That is the thing about blame it can belong to more than one person. In fact, more often than not there is more than one person to blame. We blame a player when a game does not turn out like we wished it would. We blame our colleague for messing up a project. We blame our fat asses on fast food. We blame being late on the traffic. We always find something or someone to dump the blame on. The other problem with wanting to blame someone is that you start telling everyone you can ‘your side’ (or should I say your version) of the story and you look for people to take your side and heaven forbid if anyone disagrees with you. All you are doing is putting other people in the middle of your problem.

The best advice I can offer you is to let go of it. Stop having countless, pointless arguments with people trying to convince them and yourself that you are in fact not to blame. If you are to blame you should accept it gracefully, apologize and move on; if you are not, but there seems to be no resolution then the best thing you can do is accept it. You will find there are people out there who are under the impression that they are faultless and who believe they are just in their accusations, but what is the point of arguing with someone who is obviously deluded? Those people are easy to spot because they are always quick to point out others’ mistakes and shift the blame shamelessly. If you have an incessant need to prove your side then I suggest you put everything in writing. EVERYTHING.



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