Arguing vs Talking

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Arguing is what you do when you do not really have a point to make, but you feel like having a go at someone about something.There is something bugging you, but the frustration of having to explain what it is when you yourself are not sure can add fuel to the fire. There are times when you may have a good point, but you cannot always make people understand and accept how you feel about whatever it is you are arguing about. That is the joy of a difference of opinion. Often, when people argue they think they are giving adequate reasons and substantiating why they feel the way they do, but the truth is because you are so wrapped up in making your point you often drift off the topic and the whole thing ends up being a little pointless. The funny thing about arguing is that it often brings the truth out and you often figure out what is really bugging you when you have a pointless argument. I am not saying all arguments are ridiculous or pointless, I am saying that there is a reason for most arguments and sometimes you have to dig a little deeper in order to figure out exactly what it is. That is where the talking part comes in handy!

Arguing is passionate! You are taking a stand for something you believe in even if it may seem ludicrous to others, but one must defend what one believe’s in and that is a good thing. Alright, if a vegan was trying to tell me that vegetables have feelings I would probably laugh at them, but you cannot blame a person for trying? After the argument it is advised that you reflect on the things that were said. People often make hurtful statements when they argue, but that is mostly because it is the heat of the moment. Talking is great; talking is when you can actually try to reconcile and move past the whole debacle. The reason most people end up arguing is because when they talk no one listens. Isn’t it strange that it takes an argument and hurtful comments to make people sit down and have a civilized conversation? Here are some pointers to help you through an argument:

1. Do not have a smug look on your face while the other person is raging at you. It just aggravates them even more.

2. Try to stay away from ‘the condescending laugh.’ I have seen people do it mid-argument and it never ends well!

3. Don’t just get up and walk away or storm out and leave. If you need or want a few minutes to cool off and think things through that’s fine, but don’t just walk away. I have heard some horrible stories about things that have happened to people who have just gotten in to their cars and driven off. When you are that emotional it is best to stay and work through things no matter how angry you are.

Those are the only three worth mentioning because the rest we do on instinct. There is no way to make an argument nice, but it is all about your approach. I don’t know about everyone else but I do not like unresolved issues so it is always best to talk about things as soon as you can. Talking is good, but talking to someone who is actually listening to you is even better! If you have any other pointers or tips or opinions to add, please do. I am sure everyone could do with advice in this department.

ME

 

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