You can choose your friends.

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The days of being one of the cool kids are over. Well, they are over when you realize the cool kids are not quite as cool as you thought they were. Besides, it makes more sense to be friends with people who you have things in common with, because those are the people who you may actually be able to form long, lasting friendships with. Now that sounds like a good deal to me. I was told, not so long ago, that I need to stop taking in the ‘strays’. The ‘strays’ are those people who never seem to be able to stay friends with others because they tend to have their own agendas and when people find them out they do not really want to see them again. Not only do the ‘strays’ have other agendas, but they do not get on with any of your other friends and they try to alienate you from your friends. That is never a good sign. Never underestimate a ‘stray.’ They will sabotage your life and be your shoulder to cry on. So, although I feel sorry for those people who do not have many friends if they do not add value to my life I have no need for them. It is not brutal. Hear me out before you avert your eyes and click ‘x’.

‘You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends.‘ So why not choose the most kick-ass, awesome people who never let you down, always have your back and are really there through the good and the bad? You do not need to have people in your life who put you down and piss you off. You have your family for that. I know some people have the oddest families and they hate them so the best advice I can offer is to make sure you have a great, strong network of friends who you can count on. You get to choose them so choose wisely. Do not cling to the first person who comes along because you may be disappointed by that friendship. Also, your friends can’t make all the bad things in your life go away, they are just there to get you through it all. And VISA VERSA! You cannot expect your friends to drop everything for you when you do not reciprocate. Also, you do not need to have 500 friends. You cannot keep up with that many people and expect to build proper friendships with them.

Never be afraid to tell someone they have crossed a line or upset you. If the person is really your friend they will understand and will appreciate your opinion. Also, do not lie to them. Not all your friends are stupid! Especially with Twitter and Facebook these days. You are the stupid one to lie. We know when you are trying to ease your guilt or avoid a subject. Friends are supposed to know you inside out so just be honest, because people appreciate that. I know people who fight and bitch about each other to everyone and then make-up and they say ‘that’s our friendship.’ That is not a friendship. Try and steer clear of destructive friendships… I could go on and on about those but I want to hear what everyone else has to say about choosing your friends. When do you know that friend is a keeper?

ME

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2 responses »

  1. I’m one of those people who also tends to take in “strays” although my “strays” are people who need someone and then put myself in the trash. I’m a listener so that’s why I attract such people and then to my disadvantage I think they’re friend material.

    I don’t know what makes a keeper friend. I guess someone who can tell you that they love you, accept when they’ve hurt you enough to work passed it, support you through matters that’s big or small & gives a piece of their heart to you.
    I always see friendships as the same as a relationship just minus the sex.
    Someone is a keeper if they give AND take. If there’s no heart in something then the friendship isn’t worth it

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