Some people CAN’T kiss!


After some serious flirting and many, many soft little shoulder bumps and touches all in the hope of one of you finally building the courage to pucker up and make the first move nothing happens… After even more intense glances and gazing deeply in to each others eyes your lips finally meet for that first breath taking, heart stopping, unforgettable, delectable kiss… At least that is what you were expecting. The next thing you know you have no idea what on earth to do as this tongue probes around your mouth, slobbers on your face as it moves in some random circular movement, jets in and out your mouth like a lizzard or god-forbid it just lies there limp and lifeless waiting for…? As far as I know if the first kiss does not go well you might as well give the person a hug, shake hands and move on. If you can’t kiss you obviously will not get anything else right. ‘you are the weakest link… Bye-bye.’

The words French kiss do not mean shove your tongue down my throat until you can wiggle my epiglottis! When you hit your 20’s you better have all the kinks worked out otherwise you will become known as a crappy kisser. I know there are plenty people out there who have had to fight off a hungry lion or two, but why is it not ok to try and tell them that no one actually enjoys being slobbered on? If you really like the person you should be able to say something about the way they kiss. A big clue on whether you know what you are doing or not is if people actual say ‘wow, you are a great kisser.’ If you never hear that you may need to work on it. To be fair drunk people tend to not really have any control over that tongue of theirs, but sober people have no excuse. People always want to kiss like in the movies so answer this one… Do you ever see druel running down their faces or their tongues washing each others lips and cheeks? NO!

The point of a good kiss is that you want to make it last for a very, very, very long time. It’s the kind of kiss where the whole night passes by and you have not even realized it’s 5 in the morning. Am I being too soppy or do you agree with me? Now girls and guys both have these issues because some people can kiss and some people can’t. Which are you, is the question. Why should people have issues telling some one that they kiss weird and maybe try and teach them a way that doesn’t end up in you having to wash your face! I mean it takes 2 to tango and a weak kiss sucks.

Have you ever had an awful kiss that makes you cringe every time you think about it? What about a kiss that makes you want to run a mile? Would you ever say anything to the other person or would you leave them for the next poor basterd who comes along…



2 responses »

  1. Guess we all had great kisses and bad kisses, worst for me was one girl that kept on biting my upper lip! Hard enough to draw blood once or twice. And not in n sexy kind of way, just strange.
    Some advice I remember getting was, don’t rush it, don’t let your hands wander to much, and breath mints are important!

    great post. 🙂

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