Why do you allow someone to control you? Some people may be serious control freaks, but they cannot get away with it unless you allow them to. You do not need to be a rocket scientist to figure out someone is controlling. To be fair there are some psycho’s who will threaten you with your life if you do not do what they say, but there have to be signs leading up to that breaking point. And yes, I suppose it is a weakness if you allow someone to belittle you like that and dictate your every move, but that still does not make it right.
I bet you think it is the controlling persons fault? You believe that some people have stronger personalities and, therefore, can call all the shots. There is a difference between a leader and a controller. A leader will try to help you understand and steer you in the right direction where as a controller will tell you what to do and threaten you if you do no do what they ask. The same goes for dictators; just throw in a bit of brain washing and you might as well be taking orders from a dictator (it is an extreme comparison but it helps me make my point). Maybe the person who controls you does so because they feel they have more power and authority and use that to manipulate and control you. It basically all boils down to insecurities and the need to feel safe, secure and be accepted (by scum). Any person who controls another human being will hereafter be referred to as scum.
You would think that most people would have learnt in basic social skills the difference between encouraging and controlling, but there are still some serious douche-bags out there who could learn a thing or two. You get controlling friends, family members and partners. Personally, I cannot stand the idea of someone ordering me around like a little puppet in their bizarre world. They tell you what to wear, eat and where you can and cannot go and who you can and cannot be friends with. What a waste of free will.
Why do certain people need to control others?
The truth is they run you down until you think so little of yourself you only feel good enough when you do something the scum approves of. Trust me when I say this; you do not need their approval, they need yours! My views on controlling people are very aggressive and I do not hide the fact that I dislike such people. Not everyone can change so I prefer to not surround myself with people like that. The entire time I have been writing about this I have had a couple of people jump to mind, one in particular. This scum actually had the nerve to write what the scum called an apology letter, which instead turned out to be a letter telling me what I should be doing. See, when you have a strong enough personality you have the ability to put scum in its rightful place. Everyone should learn to do that, because no one should be treated like a doormat.
Cutting someone like that out of your life is not a big deal because you do not need someone to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. Of course if it is a family member then you need to toughen up and not get sucked in. People have enough insecurities to deal with, without some scum trying to run them down and make them feel worse only to use you as a puppet in their twisted world. Never be afraid of losing someone who feels the need to change you and control you. If you have someone controlling you tell me how you deal with it? If you are a controlling person do you even realise you do it?
I know it’s a sensitive subject but controlling people need to be called on their bullshit, because it is not on and it is destructive!