After emailing someone asking about possible job opportunities the reply I received was ‘I read your blog and maybe you could write about weird sex fetishes.’ Well, that was the gist of it. I have been putting it off for a while because there are so many freaking weird fetishes out there I scared myself by delving in to the topic. Some may be less weird that others, but some of them are so bizarre I wonder how mentally disturbed people have to be to think that stuff up! Firstly, a sexual fetish is an obsession with an object, body part or situation which is not conventionally viewed as sexual. I like to think of myself as liberal, but taking on this topic has me questioning that. I mean who would hold in their poo because they find it sexually arousing or want someone to go down on them while they are busy relieving themselves? Seriously people, get a hobby! There are too many sexual fetishes to mention them all so I will start with the milder ones and move on to the more disturbing ones.
The foot fetish is more common than you would think. Can someone please explain to me what it is about feet that gets you going? Yes, you get some pretty feet, but put anyone in a pair of shoes for long enough and they stink. Is there something about feet I don’t know? Then you get spanking… Some people like a little spank and others like to be beaten (S&M type vibes). I didn’t get feet, but this just knocks me for six. Don’t tell me I can’t knock it until I try it, because there are some things you can really just say no to. Who wants nipple clamps or ball clamps or to be choked while you are supposedly being intimate? Those are incredibly mild compared to some of the twisted things people do get off to. What’s more disturbing is that they actually find someone else who is willing to partake in the insanity! If you are sensitive I suggest you have a drink or two before reading the rest because even liberal me had some trouble stomaching some of these things!
The amputee fetish is when people make amputee’s the victims of their sexual fantasy. There is nothing wrong being an amputee, but there is something wrong with the sicko who wants to only get it on with amputees! Urophillia aka golden shower is also mild and most people have heard of this one. It is when people like to pee in public, get peed on or pee on someone else. Pee on people? Seriously? If you want something warm boil the kettle and mix it with cold water. problem solved. I do not know how to pronounce this but the description is nasty enough; emetophilia. What is that you ask? You will wish you hadn’t asked… it is when people are aroused by someone else vomiting either on them or near them. I don’t know about everyone else, but when I see someone vomit I start to gag. When did people start getting aroused by chunder? it’s the kind of thing you avoid. Moving on to the anus, there are three different, equally disgusting and disturbing fetishes with the bum. If you ask me it’s a no go zone all together! Then I hear some people are turned on by farting (Eproctophilia) and if that did not make you pull a face some people are turned on by enemas (Kilsmaphilia). Coprophilia is when people are turned on by crap. That’s right! They get their happy from poo! Smelly, iffy, dirty, meant to be flushed down the toilet poop! How? Why? What is it about poo that gets you going? I’m actually lost for words and being liberal I guess I’m not allowed to, but for pete’s sakes I have been judging since I started writing about this!
If those were not iffy enough for you maybe necrophilia will get your gag reflex’s going. Yes, some people like having sex with a corpse. You know how pedophiles choose jobs that allow them to be close to children… maybe the same goes for those people who are in to necrophilia? Scary thought, get out of my head! I really thought all of the above were foul, revolting things that turned people on, but when I saw this one I literally gasped. Anthropophagolagnia is when someone is aroused by rape and cannibalism. As if being raped is not enough then the freak has to chop you up and eat you. Serial killer springs to mind and some psychopath, Jeffery Dahmer, is the poster child for this twisted fetish. I don’t know how this can be labeled a fetish when it is scream psychotic, lunatic and mentally disturbing behavior?
We can safely say nudity is not the only thing that gets some people going. After reading about what is out there I think if you find someone who loves you in a nice normal way, never let them go! Also, to all those freaky people out there please tell someone if you have some disturbing sexual fetish so they know what to expect. Getting someone to warm up to you and like will not change their mind, because as far as I am concerned all of the above are deal breakers! Have you ever met someone with a weird sexual fetish? Do you have one? Even if they are not as grotesque as the above mentioned it is always interesting to know what goes on in some peoples minds…