Are you a social chameleon? Do you do pretty much anything to be the ‘it’ person? Now if your friends don’t know you how are they supposed to decide if they really like you or not? Some people really do feel that what other people think about them really matters. They do not like it when people just don’t like them and in order to get along with everyone they tend to change their personality to suit the different people they hang out with. People pleaser’s spend all their time seeking approval. I cannot image how exhausting that must be! The way I feel you either like me or you don’t. If you don’t like someone you can at least be polite and still say hello if you see them out and about. That does of course depend on why you do not like that person, but if it’s because they give you a weird vibe you can still smile and say hello. Some might think that being a people pleaser is an endearing quality, but it’s really quite annoying when someone does everything they can to get you to like them. Also, it seems a bit self-destructive because you constantly worry about other peoples’ needs and wants before your own, but it is still for your own selfish gain; to be liked.
How can you tell if someone is a people pleaser? They generally have no clue about who they are and they put so much time and energy in to keeping the people around them happy. Imagine how fake you have to be to be able to change your personality just to get the approval of everyone you meet? Imagine how pathetic you must be to base your self-worth on the number of friends you have…? You know those people who have thousands of friends on facebook? Well, ask them to throw a party, invite everyone and see who actually turns up. Yes, people pleasers will waste no time in ‘friending’ you on every social networking site they can think of and if you ever ‘unfriend’ them their entire universe will shatter, because someone who they met once 5 years ago removed them as a friend.
People often say if you can count all your friends on one hand then count yourself lucky, because in all honesty friendships take work and as cool as some may think it is to have thousands of friends who you do not even communicate with, well your life is a little sad then. I have heard of a people pleaser who found himself stranded on the side of the road and he had to call about 30 people before one person said they would go and help him. Another people pleaser I know invited 300 people to his birthday and not one turned up. Hopefully that gives all the try-hard, people pleasers out there something to think about!