We have all heard this before, guys and gals alike! The big question is why do we do it? Why do we wait until the end, until every last bit of foundation has been torn up and there is no hope of reconciliation? There is so much wrong that forgiveness would not even be able to make it all ok or even give anyone any hope of a fresh start. I think for many of us it is because we believe things cannot end until they actually do. Kind of like living in a constant state of denial that everything will be ok. Why? Just because it has to be OK and we will it to be so? It is really sad that we say we should communicate and we do talk, but there is no point in talking when no one listens. Listening means more than having the ability to hear sound. Really listening means that you take in what the other person has to say and you understand. Listening and understanding are not the be all and end all of it all. It is vital, because you need to talk about something before you can address it, but after those steps there is more work ahead. Are you willing to do the work?
Break-ups suck at the best of times and at some stage in the process of moving on you will begin to annalise every inch of the relationship and ultimately, the break-up. In any relationship the word compromise tends to pop up ALL THE TIME. Many people take the stance that they will not change themselves for anyone, but if you had half a brain cell you would realise that compromise is not changing yourself, it is simply meeting the other person in the middle. A compromise is not meant to be an unreasonable request you fight against until the bitter end and you both have to do it otherwise it will never last and more importantly it will never work. I am not saying all compromises are legitimate, because there are some incredibly unreasonable people out there. When I think of some of the stupid things people want others to compromise on I can understand why they are single and friendless. A legitimate compromise is supposed to help strengthen a relationship and help sort out any problems.
You need to make sure that when there is a something that is bugging you, you think it through before bringing it up. If you are not willing to compromise on something then say so from the beginning, because a compromise is meant to be taken seriously all the time and not only when it suits you. Do not make a half-arsed attempt at it, because if you disrespect the compromise you disrespect the other person. More importantly, make sure all parties are on the same page i.e you both know exactly what is going on so there can be no future misunderstandings that can be blamed on miscommunication. That means do not mean use silly innuendos or passive-aggressive means of manipulating a compromise to suit you. If you insist on doing that you do not actually care that it is something important to the other person and you will show them that you think it is a big joke.
The sad part is so many people do not take these things seriously. Agreeing to compromise and actually making an effort to show the other person you will try when it is too late and the damage is done is exactly what is meant by too little, too late. If a topic comes up repeatedly have the sense to take it seriously from the beginning or you will be the one who loses out in the end. My little analogy goes like this: When you see a small leak you can either get it fixed straight away or leave it to see if it sorts itself out or gets worse. If you leave the leak it may start seeping in to other places you cannot see until more little leaks appear on the surface. By the time you fix it the damage would have spread to other areas and not only will it take more time and effort but the cost will be that much more. It should not have to take a break-up to make you take it seriously and if it does, well then it just goes to show you were never serious from the beginning.